Everybody Counts Event (Fall 2014)
In the midst of my summer internship, my supervisor informed me about a community event at the beginning of August, called Everybody Counts, where social service provides would be gathered to provide information and resources to people including fresh produce, school supplies, clothes, and two hot meals that day. I contacted the individual who was planning and coordinating the event and asked if it would be possible for me to attend the event with the hopes of interviewing a few more people to potentially add their stories to our book. When I got to the event I realized how uncomfortable and presumptuous it seemed to randomly address someone at the event, tell them about the project, and see if they would be interested in contributing. I felt that no matter how I phrased it, an inherent assumption I would probably be making and they would probably pick up on is that I was identifying them as “hungry”, or “food insecure”. I stuck around for the whole day, engaged especially service providers in conversation, learned a lot about some of the resources available in our community, and helped out where I could. At the end of the day, the church hosted a hot supper and I decided that this would probably be my best opportunity to start a natural conversation with people. After going through the food line, I went and sat down at a table with a young family. I learned that they were from Iraq and that the husband was working on his doctorate degree in engineering. They were incredibly friendly and their two adorable kids gave us plenty to talk about. The couple was curious about who I was and so I told them a little bit about myself and introduced the Facing Project and the storytelling model. I asked the couple what had brought them to the dinner. They said that they had heard it was a community event, but the husband suggested if I wanted to collect stories from hungry people I should travel to Africa. I was disappointed by his response, but it was such an incredible opportunity to be aware of where the couple was at and to respond by introducing the idea of food insecurity.
Haiti (Summer 2013)
At the Gonaives orphanage in Haiti there is a fairly large open room that contains a long table where the kids eat their meals and where we would often sit to color or work on crafts. One day I was sitting at this table coloring with two little girls when I saw what I guessed to be a ten-year-old boy sneak through the room…almost as if he was trying to pass unseen. When I saw him sneak a couple of quick glances at the table I instantly knew in my heart that what this quiet stealthy boy wanted was to be seen. He looked again and I made eye contact, smiled, and scooted back from the table. Instantly he shot out of the room and ran outside the building. I did the only logical thing and chased after him. Little did I know that this would begin a game of chase and capture that would last for the remainder of my trip. That very first day after a few laps around the house I realized that I wasn’t going to outrun this boy. My strategy shifted and I decided to hide behind a doorway and wait for him to run past me. Much to HIS surprise, it worked. I will never forget the “Oh!”, the surprise in his eyes, and the laughter that came when I snatched him in my arms and held him tight. Over the next couple of days what I realized is that as much as Rolisma loved being chased, what he loved even more was to be caught…to be wrapped in my arms, to lean back against me, to play with my hand in his. It is in Haiti that I learned the power of nonverbal communication—of the connection that can still occur between two people when they don’t share a language, but can share laughs, games, time, and love. I also learned the power of being present—of just being with someone and not trying to fix, control, or manipulate the current or future situation.
LEAD 212 Class Email (Fall 2013)
In the Introduction to Leadership Concepts class that I helped teach, each learning community (approximately twelve students) is assigned an area of Manhattan and asked to execute a canned food collection to be donated to the Flint Hills Breadbasket. The students are provided some information as far as context about the Breadbasket and the history of this food drive, neighborhood assignment, and deadline. Other than that, the students are left to mobilize themselves to reach the community, communicate about the event, and to collect cans. My small group decided to make flyers about the canned food drive and to place them on people’s doors and return at a later time to actually collect the cans. Due to a proactive community member reaching out to the Staley School of Leadership Studies, my lead teacher and then myself learned that the flyers did not include information about a pick-up date and time. The woman expressed that she would love to donate, but would like to know what day to leave food out for the students to come by and pick up. This class only met once a week, and in the interest of time, I decided to send my students an email informing them about the situation and challenging them to think about possible next steps. I drafted what I thought was a very meaningful email—challenging them to think about the consequences of community members not knowing when the pick up date was, and to frame their response and course of action through the four I’s of transformational leadership. I explicitly asked for their response (so that I could follow up with the community member), and got none. When I got to class on Wednesday I brought with me a lot of different interpretations about what their lack of response meant. I was hurt and frustrated, but I recognized that I indeed was forming my own interpretations and needed to hear from my students what they were thinking and perhaps more importantly, feeling. On Wednesday, we all sat in a circle, and to start our time together I gave every student a hard copy of the email. I asked the students to read through it and to physically write down their initial reaction to the email and a response to the questions outlined. I then asked for people to share and it got really uncomfortable. Initially, I felt attacked, but I began to soften as I heard that that is what some of them felt in my email. Ultimately, I had to forfeit what I was feeling, my intentions, and list of justifications to really hear where my students were at and what they heard in my email (even if it was different from what I meant to say). Instead of reacting to my interpretations, I was able to take the time to understand and be aware of how my students were feeling and then respond accordingly.
aware of and responsive to the feelings of others